No
by ashes452
Summary: Spoilers for First Episode of 4.5 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Adama confronts Laura. Mistakes are Mine. The Show isn't PLEASE REVIEW if you want more! Up to you!
1. Chapter 1

**No**

**Chapter 1: With Everything That I Am**

Laura laid curled up on her side on the floor of her quarters unable to move, she had heard her love over the com announcing promises and hope. Hope she no longer had. 'How could I?' Everything I thought was true was...is a lie.' Laura curled up tighter holding on to the dead piece of earth she removed from the barren wasteland.

She starred at the object in her hand eyeing it for what seemed like hours, she vaguely heard the hatch open, vaguely heard him walk towards her, and vaguely heard him kneel down beside her.

"Laura?" He whispered his voice filled with hurt, concern and of love.

Laura hid the dead flower in her palm, held in a sob and weakly replied, "Go away."

Bill lowered his head in defeat, another sting of pain hitting him by her words, he knew more than anyone else that she had lost so much; her dreams of a life that didn't surround the fleet, the weight of the fleet lifted knowing that they were safe, and above all the silent hope that ran through them, hope that they would be together freely without any trepidation. All these things seem to banish in a blink of an eye when they first set foot on Earth. The hope and celebration of finding their home was quickly filled with self doubt and guilt. Guilt he equal felt.

'But why? Why must she push me away? After she just proclaimed her love, why must we go back to this? Why must she close herself off? Doesn't she know I'm here for her? Always for her."

Bill still knelt by her side unable to move not knowing what to do or say, he just watched her curled up form on the small rug of her quarters.

"Please go away...please." She begged.

Bill shook his head on its own accord knowing she didn't see the movement and without another thought said, "No."

It shocked him for saying it, after all how could he comfort anyone? When he felt just as much pain and loss as she did. He weighed the idea of comforting her, asking himself 'do I have anything left to give? Is there any point?' the thoughts were banished instantly hearing her sob. He did have so much left to give and it was all for her.

"Please..."She moaned as if in pain, as if the presence of him pained her.

It did.

'How could I look at him again?' she thought subconsciously dropping the ancient plant only to move her hand to hide her face, 'after all the things I've said, after the things I promised...promised him!'Laura let out another sob.

Bill moved to sit down cross legged behind her; he gently leaned over and grabbed her wrist with ever so much care, he sensed instantly Laura would move it away and as soon as he felt the action of her wrenching her hand away he clutched on to it firmly so she couldn't.

"Let go." She hissed.

"No" was his simple reply and before she could protest any further he continued barley above a whisper, "I'll never let go of you Laura...so please don't ask me to...because I can't...I won't, you're my life... I can't live my life without you."

Laura's eyes were wide as tears fell steadily onto the rug, "How could you even look at me let alone touch me?" she asked through another sob.

Bill bent his head down so his lips were a breath away from her ear, "You above all should know that answer...it's because I love you."

Laura sucked in a breath, never has he said the words out loud and it made her cry harder, not for her broken dreams but for the man beside her for the man above her, the man that was all around her.

"Through all your faults, through all your stubbornness and through everything, I love you, cause to me your perfect," He took a breath before continuing, "Laura I won't forgive you about earth, cause there is nothing to forgive, we both decided to pursue Earth-"

"I forced you-"

"Laura just because you win in some arguments by forcing me to do things I don't want to do...your actually not forcing me...I decided to pursue Earth on my own accord." He said with a grin hoping to lighten up the mood, "Because I trust you."

"Look where that trust ended up." Laura spat.

"I still trust you, because I love you, if you told me this isn't earth I would believe you. Yes Earth is a frak job, our future home is officially a pipe dream...and that's ok."

Laura rolled on her back to stare at him for the first time, his statement obviously making her question his sanity.

"Because as long as I have you, as long as your here with me...I'm home."

Tears continued to slip from her red eyes.

"I trust this Laura," Bill removed his hand from her slender wrist only to hold her hand tightly, "I trust you, and I'm asking you now to trust me, to follow me; where we go I don't know all I know is I can't do this alone you are the one that makes me strong Laura, your my home...please Laura please don't push me away not when I love you so much." Bill never noticed the tears in his eyes until one fell and landed on Laura's cheek merging with her own.

In an instant Laura raised herself draped one hand around Bill's neck and crushed her lips against his own. The kiss was not like their first back on Colonial One so very long ago, it was hot and passionate and wet. Bill never asked for permission as he plunged his tongue into her mouth letting his tongue dance in a joyful union tasting the sweetness that was her. He held her by the back of the head taking the extra effort to make sure he would not dislodge her wig or their mouths. Her tongue swept into his mouth tasting him, she noted the taste of ambrosia and briefly wondered how much had he been drinking, before moving her head for a better angle.

Laura moaned as his probing tongue, his hot hands that seemed to sear through her clothing and her wig, his taste, his love. Upon hearing her exquisite moan he removed his mouth only to replace his lips and teeth against her jaw line gently nipping at her skin, he quickly earned another moan as she tried to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry," she whispered between breaths, "I'm sorry I pushed you-"

"Don't be my Love; just know I'll always be by your side I'll always be yours."

Laura nodded and motioned to wipe away her tears but he quickly stopped his nipping, removed his hand from her waist and did it for her, caressing her cheeks as if she would break by the softest of touches.

"Do you trust me Laura?"He asked his mouth still breathe away.

"With everything that I am." She stared into his perfect blue orbs as her heart trembled in his chest.


	2. Chapter 2: I am

**Chapter 2: I am**

Bill quickly kissed her soundly before moving to his knees and collecting her into his arms. Without much of a heave, he picked Laura up easily; whether it was because he was strong, or if it was from her wasting disease he simply didn't want to know instead he quickly pushed the thought aside choosing the former.

Laura's head instantly laid against his chest listening to his quiet heart beat, both arm's securely around his neck. She closed her eyes and let the feeling of him encase her, a far cry from what she wanted not more than ten minutes ago.

Before she knew it, Bill had gently placed her on top of a cold plastic seat; this she knew very well. She instantly felt the coldness hit her bottom and her eyes shot up looking at her surrounding's, 'The head?'

Bill drew away from her and turned to the shower that was right beside them, he pulled back the shower curtain and turned on the water and lifted the leaver so the water would redirect to the shower head. He quickly assessed that she had soap and towels and turned back to her.

"Bill, why are we in here? What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?"He asked kneeling down in front of her.

Laura looked at him like he grew a second head and tentatively replied, "yes," she instantly took another breath sensing he picked up on her indecisive reply and quickly brought her hand up to join his cheek, making sure she had his eyes she replied firmly, "Yes my darling, yes I do."

Bill smiled at her one of those gorgeous smiles only reserved for her, he quickly pecked her on her forehead and rose to his feet his hands instantly went to the buttons of his uniform and quickly undid them. Laura could only stare at what he was doing in wonder.

Bill quickly discarded his uniform jacket and placed it over the bathroom counter top; he then toed off his shoes and kicked them to the side while pulling his tanks over his head.

Laura laid her eyes on his naked chest, she had seen it once before but in an entirely different situation and not to mention an entirely different relationship, where they were once cold to one another and unsure of the others intentions or motives, back when she secretly thought maybe just maybe he was a cylon. But now it was different instead of the cold unsure gaze she was once accustomed too, she saw and just recently acknowledged his longing loved filled eyes, secretly admitting to herself that those loved filled eyes have been there since he saw her on Kobol.

Bill went to his knees and looked at her noticing she was taking in his chest, he smiled inwardly secretly scared out of his mind.

Laura noticed the scar on his chest recounting the day she first saw it and inwardly shuttered at the thought, 'I was so close to losing him...my future lover...my gods we have come so far.' Laura absent minded drew a finger up and as far down as her current position would let her over his scar feeling the small bumps and contours. She then snaked her hand against his broad upper chest, 'when did he get so fit?' she thought noting his defined pecks and the faint outline of a six pack.

"Laura?" he asked revelling in the feeling of her skin against his own.

"Hmm?" she replied snaking her hand to the other side giving it the attention it deserved before snaking her hand through his thick hair.

Instead of words he let his hands go to the front of her jacket and with her help he discarded it placing it with his on the counter. Without hesitation he gently peeled away her dark silk blouse revealing her lacy black bra. He let the silky material drop from his hands, as he gazed into her eyes.

He let the backs of his fingers gently trace the skin of her arm's his gaze still locked on hers. Bill moved his hands to hook under her arms and lifted her up so they were both standing.

With one hand he held her by the waist holding her steady, while the other traced the skin of her abdomen. 'She's so thin' he gently raised his hand feeling the small indentations of her ribcage, it wasn't noticeable but he easily felt them under his fingers. Laura replaced her arms around his neck and placed her forehead just above his heart. He gently rubbed her back and turned his attention to her bra's clasp. He instantly felt her tense up but slowly relaxed as he whispered calming words, "It's just me my love, I'm here it's only me."

As soon as her bra hit the floor, she instantly let her chest come into full contact with his. Laura let out a quiet moan keeping her eyes closed letting herself really feel the new exquisite feeling of warmth and contentment that he was offering to her.

Bill loved the feeling of her naked skin on his, but at the same time of the thrill he felt the tinge of sadness, for he could feel the uneven shape of her left breast. He could feel the small bump that signified her wasting disease. Laura felt him tense under her skin and as if she could hear what he was thinking she unwrapped her arms around him bowed her head lower and stepped away. Bill instantly felt her withdrew and held on to her tighter letting his large hands encompass her lower back.

"No." He whispered.

"Bill." She quietly pleaded, even though she was unsure herself what she was pleading for.

"I love all of you, every inch; I only hate what this bump signifies, but not you Laura. Don't feel ashamed for something you have no control over."

"That's what I hate...that I have absolutely no control."

"Yes you do...because you're going to beat it...we're going to beat it." Bill gently cupped her left breast weighing it in the palm of his hand, "you're so gorgeous."

Laura tried to stifle a sad laugh, but it came out more like a sob, "Liar."

"I would never lie to you," he said seriously while rubbing his thumb over the small bump, "remember in my eyes you're perfect...you are perfect."

Laura's mouth connected with his as she pressed herself against his chest desperately wanting to believe him...she did. As her mouth seek purchase, her hands went to his belt, fumbling with the buckle for a second, and then quickly managed to divest it pulling his pants and boxers down in one quick shove all the while never leaving his mouth.

"Laura." Bill murmured against her mouth at her unexpected quick approach.

Laura quickly swallowed his words as she continued to kiss him fiercely.

Getting her point instantly Bill's hands dropped lower to her bottom and quickly found the zipper that held her skirt. He quickly divested her of it; taking the same approach she did and ridding her of her skirt and underwear. Laura quickly stepped out of her discarded clothes, as she ran her lips and teeth against his jaw line her hands encompassing his strong back.

Bill brought his hands back up to her head and gently without any reservation took off her wig and gently put it to one side. When he looked back at Laura her eyes were closed again her hands had left him only to be replaced by her side. He had once heard her say she never wanted him to see her without it or at least her head scarf, he told her that no matter what it never mattered to him what she looked like, she scoffed at him and left him standing there in his quarters. This was before she went missing, before they announced their love for each other. However one thing still remained the same, it still never mattered what she looked like.

Bill gently ran his hands through the fuzz of her scalp and whispered to her, "Perfect."

Laura instantly opened her eyes to look at his loving gazing, and after finding no deceit there, she let herself recoil and fell into him letting him massage her scalp and kiss the auburn fuzz all the while whispering two beautiful words to her, "Perfect and Beautiful." For in Bills eyes he never saw the bald ailing women before him not when they were so intimate, he saw Laura, his Laura. He saw her beautiful mane of hair that he secretly missed along with her passion and desire for life in her eyes. These things only showed up when they were alone and so intimate. Granted this was there first time for true intimacy but he had seen it before back when he was on the Baseship holding her in his arms.

The head was much warmer now, even if it wasn't because of the shower running, Laura's body felt like it was on fire as Bill now alternated between cupping her breasts, dragging a hand gently between them and messaging her scalp all the while keeping one hand on her waist to steady her.

Without another word Bill lifted Laura off of the ground and placed her in the shower. She nearly shouted at him for making her leave his body, but her words died in her throat as she watched him get in with her and pulled the shower curtain closed. With the warm water spraying them, Bill reached to Laura and gently brought her too him holding her by the waist feeling her fully naked form against him for the first time.

Bill and Laura moaned in union at the new sensation. To have another's body pressed so close, so intimately for the first time in years no words could be described as their flesh danced between them.

Laura directed Bill's mouth to hers with her finger tips, languidly letting their mouths danced as the warm water caressed their bodies and lips.

Bill moved his hands from her waist and wrapped them around her as he backed her up so her back was against the side of the shower wall. She instantly broke the kiss as she let out another moan as she felt him so completely against her.

"Laura." He whispered hotly against her mouth tasting her sweetness and the warm water cascading down them.

"Bill." She moaned clamping her mouth against his pushing herself further into his skin. As she let herself dwell deeper into his mouth and let her tongue meet his in another joyful union, she felt one arm slid from her back only moments later finding its way back with a bar of her soap in tow. He gently began to lather one of her slender arms all the while keeping his mouth on if not near her own.

When the need for oxygen was too great she gently removed her lips only to replace them on his shoulder sucking and kissing the skin there. Somehow the water tasted much sweeter when it was on his skin then out in the open. She continued her suckling and gentle licking as he lathered soap to her back and neck.

"Your mine," he whispered into her ear holding her close to him his mouth resting beside her ear.

"I am."


End file.
